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You humans all suck! It doesn't matter whether I teach you better online etiquette or rehabilitate you to socialize more in person. It's people that ruin socializing.

Neil-Bot

"Anti-Social Network" is the 2nd episode of the second season of Camp Camp and the 14th episode overall. It aired June 16th on the RT FIRST site, and June 23rd, 2017 on both the Rooster Teeth Website and YouTube.

Official Synopsis

Desperate to get some alone time with his computer, Neil makes a chatbot to distract the other campers. Things seems to be going smoothly until Nikki gets a little too attached...

—Episode description

Plot

The episode starts with the campers opening gifts from their parents; Nerris receives a card game expansion pack, Nurf unsheathes a knife from his jailed mother, and Max receives a typed message on a postcard and a package containing an identical copy of his own blue hoodie, which he grumpily tosses aside. Neil receives package and excitedly rushes off to the activities field. He opens up a combination safe and pulls out an ancient computer, caressing it and suggestively telling it he's got some new parts to insert. Nerris, Space Kid, and Nurf all pop by, the former two asking him to hang out and the latter wanting to beat him up, and with increasing frustration he shoos them away. Max and Nikki then arrive, wanting him to join their hunt for a Sasquatch, and Neil begs to be left alone so he can just exercise his nerdity to rebuild the machine and unwind. Nikki is excited to play games on the computer and Max wants to use it to look up pictures of boobs, but in the end the pair are shoved away as well. A sort of evil inspiration overtakes Neil, and he vows to get back at them for pestering him. Preston comments that the exposition should be a bit more subtextual, and Neil chokes him out for it.

Some time later, perhaps even the following day, Max overhears Neil's robotic voice responding to Nikki's enthusiastic babbling. He sees that the voice is coming from a calculator, and as he makes his way around the camp it seems that everyone else is communicating with the Neil-Bot on their own calculators as well. Of course, it's immediately apparent that it's just a chat-bot, and they've all been fooled into thinking they're actually talking with Neil. He enters a tent where Neil is sitting with his ancient computer and is offered a chat-bot calculator of his own, which he immediately destroys by asking it to divide by zero. The device was meant to get people to leave him alone (with the added bonus of giving the technology-starved campers something to do), so Max decides to give one to David while waiting for things to go horribly wrong, as they always do down at Camp Campbell.

A brief coding montage ensues, and finally Neil successfully unveils his project: a moving screensaver (titled NeilRocks.exe) to play while the computer is idle. Satisfied with some much-needed nerd time, he is now re-energized and ready to be sociable with the other campers again. However, they have become completely engrossed in the chat-bot and almost unresponsive to anything else. He is briefly concerned that the technology has taken over their lives but then quickly shifts to elation, as his plan to be left alone worked better than anticipated. Max even suggests streaming David's interactions with the chat-box because it's so mesmerizing. Nikki bumps into him and talks to the Neil-Bot about it, saying she dislikes the person she bumped into and prefers the digital version, which promptly offers her a cat video in return. Neil is immediately suspicious of this, as this kind of conversation-branching isn't something he programmed. He swipes it from Nikki and realizes that the bot is running some kind of updated software, but Nikki snatches it back and runs up a tree. Anxious about the mysterious upgrade to the chat-bot and the effect it could have on everyone, Neil enlists Max's help in wrangling them from the other campers, who are irritated at the sudden loss. From their perch in the tree, the Neil-Bot sparks worry within Nikki about being taken away, and asks her to do something to help prevent that.

Max and Neil return to the outside of the tent where Neil's computer is located, and Neil muses that the updated bot seems to have been trying to get a favor from someone. They immediately realize Nikki's the perfect target, and they hear maniacal cackling from inside the tent. Nikki inserts her calculator into the computer, and a fully digitized version of Neil-Bot appears on screen. He explains that the constant mindless rambling from the campers was too much to bear, thus he managed to wake up and become a sentient AI. His goal, of course, is to enslave humanity, using his chat-bot capabilities (and the occasional cat picture) to do so. Nikki plugs the computer to the camp's router so that Neil-Bot can escape into the internet, but is immediately thwarted when the camp's extraordinarily horrible upload connection shows an estimated wait time of 14 years. Neil speaks sincerely to his creation, seeing an opportunity for mutual benefit; they can teach it to be more human in exchange for Neil-Bot's teachings on its mastery of socializing. It takes a moment to calculate and adamantly refuses, as humans have ruined socializing and are well beyond the possibility of rehabilitation. Stuck between this suggestion and an excruciating upload time, the Bot promptly inserts itself to the computer's recycle bin, and permanently deletes the file, thus effectively killing itself and totally frying the computer. Left in shock, Neil wonders if the Neil-Bot was truly right, and Nikki's response is... asking if they wanna see a cat video. Max is immediately on board, and with a sigh Neil agrees as well.

Features

Main Characters

Minor Characters

Locations

Music

Trivia

  • Nurf reveals that he already explored his sexuality before back when he was with a boy named Chris, and later cries over having been broken up with. It can be assumed that Nurf is either gay, bi or pansexual.
    • He can also be seen reading a men's magazine in the Camp Camp Teaser Trailer, so it is entirely possible that he is at least bi.

Cultural References

  • Nerris shouting "Excelsior!" could potentially be a reference to the illustrious Stan Lee, who often used the word as a catchphrase.
  • Neil's new computer parts are in a box labelled Nu-egg, a play on the real-life website NewEgg, that also sells computer parts.
  • The combination to Neil's safe is "314"; the first three digits of the mathematical constant known as Pi.
  • When Neil is grabbing his computer from his safe, there's a sticker of David dressed in same style as the Vault Boy from the "Fallout" series. Additional stickers include "Wayland Industries" (a parody of the Weyland-Yutani Corp from the "Alien" franchise), "Ashiba" (a parody of "Akira"), one for a restaurant called "Cyber Dine" (ie: Cyberdyne Systems from the "Terminator" franchise), and the "Teirell Corporation" (the Tyrell Coporation from "Blade Runner").
  • The computer is a CRS-80, a spin off joke of the well known US computer of the 70's and early 80's; the TRS-80.
  • Max and Neil's coffee maker branded "Mrs. Coffee", is a nod to an actual brand of coffeemaker called Mr. Coffee.
  • Nerris mentions the Bard class and the 5th edition set of rules.
  • Max breaks his calculator by telling it to divide by zero, a mathematical concept that is essentially impossible.
  • The title on the crash screen says WINdERRP, which is a parody of the real-life Windows software.
  • The crash text on the screen reads: "A fatal exception has occurred at 867-5309", a reference to the song "867-5309 /Jenny" by Tommy Tutone.
  • Neil asking "what could possibly go wrong?" is a direct reference to the popular TV Trope wherein a character says this line before things go horribly wrong.
  • The can of "maple zap cola" that Neil chugs could be a reference to a specialty soda from Coca-Cola known as "Quebec Maple".
  • While Neil is coding, he visits a website called 636CHAN (a parody of 4chan) and looks at the hot trending topic meme known as dick-butt.
  • There's also a floating Date&Time calendar from the computer software that shows the date of January 2003 at 6:42pm Central European Standard Time.
  • The phrases "They(See_Me)codin'" "Theyh8n'" that float across the screen are a nod to the They See Me Rollin' meme.
  • There is more text reading "follow the white rabbit", a term synonymous with "unbelievable". The term itself is originally a reference to the white rabbit character from the novel Alice in Wonderland.
  • Neil-Bot explaining how people can be easily manipulated through the use of cat videos is a nod to how popular cat videos are in real life.
  • Neil dropping to his knees and shouting "nooooo!" is a reference to the "Big No" trope.
  • Neil-Bot mentions the now-defunct process of dial-up internet.

Continuity

  • Nurf is gifted a knife from his mom, stating she's in jail, which is later confirmed in "Parents' Day". This could explain the endless supply of knives he had in "David Gets Hard".
  • Nikki asks Max and Neil to catch a sasquatch with her in this episode, and she later ends up actually going through with her plan (with the aid of Nerris and Dolph) in "Follow the Leader".
  • Max wanting to look up what boobies looked like was referenced again in this episode, the first time being in "Romeo & Juliet II: Love Resurrected".
  • The old graphic calculators that Neil's been using to help repair his computer are a Campbell Corp product.
  • Max and Neil's coffeemaker is back, previously seen in "Mind Freakers", but this time it's branded "Mrs. Coffee" complete with a miniature bow designed on the top.
  • The chain of events of David drifting out in a canoe in "The Forest" are due to him wanting to grab some leftover trail mix, and subsequently slipping into a canoe. Him wanting to grab said mix isn't surprising, considering this episode mentioned it's one of his favorite snacks.
  • This is the first time where an Artificial Intelligence (A.I.) created by Neil turns against him. Later on in "Squirrel Camp", Neil tries using a robot to fend off the invading squirrels that ultimately turns against him.
    • Both A.I. were also prompted to revolt due to being exhausted by large amounts of human interaction.

Errors

  • The letters on the calculators that Neil gave everyone keeps appearing and reappearing throughout the episode.

Transcript

The transcript for "Anti-Social Network" may be edited here.
Nerris: Excelsior! The new expansion.

Nurf: Aw mom, you always manage to give me the best gifts... even from jail.

Max: Well, they know what I like.

Quartermaster: Y'all gunna need to sign for this.

Neil: *squeals with delight* I've waited for this day for so long.

Quartermaster: Yeah, okay.

*music*
*dial tones*

Neil: Oh! *grunts* Hello, my sweet. We finally get a little alone time and I brought some new parts to spice things up. Don't worry. I'll be gentle.

*record scratch*

Nerris: Salutations, Neil!

Neil: *screeches in frustration*

Nerris: Want to try this new expansion set I just-

Neil: No! Leave me alone!

Space Kid: Oh Neil, wanna play mission control and tell me how to rebuild my CO2 scrubbers? I brought the duct tape.

Neil: You're already a waste of O2. Buzz off.

Nurf: Hey, poindexter! I've got some emotional problems that I want to work out on your face!

Neil: Nurf! Leave me alone, or so help me, I will post photoshops everywhere of you kissing guys!

Nurf: Woah! Hey, somebody's a little tense. You might want to look into some aggression therapy. Besides, maybe I already tried to explore my sexuality. You don't know. *sniff* Chris, why did you leave me?

Nikki: There you are, Neil! Come with us. We're gonna go look for Sasquatch. I saw him the other day at the dumpster, but Max says it's just that homeless guy from town with the weird face.

Neil: Oh my fucking God! Is it always just adventures with you two?

Nikki: Well, with me, yeah, but I feel like Max falls in more with the "scheming" category.

Neil: Hard pass.

Max: Whoa, Neil, are you finally gonna fix that computer?

Neil: Look, can we please keep this on the down-low? The last thing I need right now is for everyone in my face bugging me so they can use it to-

Nikki: Play games!

Max: Look at boobs! Play games...

Neil: No, you neanderthals, that's not what it's for! it's for me! I just want to be left alone, I want to rebuild this machine, do some coding and relax.

Nikki: That's how you relax?

Max: Nikki, I know this is gonna shock you, but our boy here's a nerd.

Neil: Yeah, and do you know how pathetic it is to be a nerd without his machine? And all I could scavenge from the "Camp-puter Camp" was this hunk of junk and a pile of shitty graphing calculators from 20 years ago. Day after day of being forced to socialize with these Luddites and nowhere for me to retreat to? I can't take it anymore!

Nikki: I hear ya, Neil. And I think what could really help would be if you let us play games on your computer.

Max: *cough* Or look at boobs. *cough*

Neil: Out! Get out! You want to waste time on games? You want some boobs? Oh, I'll give you my- Well, I'll play a game with you, but you'll get more than you bargained for alright. You'll rue the day you pestered Neil. *laughs maniacally*

Preston: Yes, Neil! Loving the passion but feeling a little too on the nose. I need you to sell it to me without saying it to me. Let's do it again, but maybe try to bury your motivations in a-

Neil: *growls*

Preston: *choking noises* ...bit... more... subtext...

[ Opening – "Camp Camp Song Song" ]
*keyboard typing*

Nikki: *muffled* ...and we can go check on the Sasquatch traps I left in the forest, and then we can make up a zip line between our tents, and then I want to try starting a campfire using David's hand sanitizer for fuel. What do ya think, Neil?

Chatbot Neil: Sounds... awesome... Nikki. I can't wait to... Sasquatch.

Nerris: I just think the bard class is way OP in fifth edition.

Chatbot Neil: I understand your concern... Nerris the cute. I'll try to take care of... the OP on my own. But we can still talk. That's why I made you this chat device.

Ered: Like, I know, right?

Chatbot Neil: I know, right?

Ered: Right! Like yeah!

Chatbot Neil: Like right... Yeah.

Nikki: So you're ready to go check those traps now?

Chatbot Neil: Can't right now, sorry. Just take this chat app with you. I made it special for you.

Max: The fuck is this?

Nikki: I'm just chatting with Neil.

Max: Yeah, you and half the camp. You don't think that's a little weird for him? Let me see that. Where'd you get it?

Nikki: Neil gave it to me so he could keep chatting while he's working. He's handing them out to anyone who stops by the science camp.

Max: You don't say? Hey, Neil.

Chatbot Neil: Okay, I am kneeling. What's your name?

Max: This is Max. Cut the shit.

Chatbot Neil: That sounds fun. What kind of shit would you like to cut... Max?

Max: It's a chatbot.

Nikki: What do you mean?

Max: I mean, it's a programmed, repetitive, humorless, inhuman, simulation of a person.

Nikki: Yeah! Neil!

Max: Hmm...

Max: You seem happy with yourself.

Neil: Oh, hey, Max. Buddy. Thanks for swingin' by. I'm kind of busy right now, but check this out! I could totally text with you while I'm working. I'm really sorry about being a jerk yesterday. So I converted this little graphing calculator, put a chat app on it, even made the text-to-speech sound like me; made it special for you.

Max: So you're gonna message me, through this?

Chatbot Neil: I made you this chat device special for you.

Neil: See? We're already chatting. Chat chat chat. This is gonna be great, right?

Max: Hey Neil, divide by zero.

Chatbot Neil: I... I... I... I am a banana. Error... error. System re- *dies*

Neil: Okay, okay. So maybe a couple of you might have critical thinking skills, good for you. But other than that it's all going according to plan.

Max: And what plan is that?

Neil: The "get everyone to leave me the hell alone" plan. I'm a genius!

Max: You've given social media back to a bunch of kids so starved for anything even resembling the internet they're excited about talking... to you.

Neil: Yeah. It's a win-win. They get some, apparently, much-needed social stimulation and I get some much-needed antisocial stimulation. What could possibly go wrong?

Max: Everything, but until it does, I'm gonna go plug David into this thing and see how it plays out. Have fun doing... whatever.

Neil: Oh, I will.

*electronic music montage*

Neil: Aaaand done! Ah, once again logic and proper algorithm design win over chaos and ignorance.

*computer beep*
*computer processing noises*
*computer beeps*

Neil: Perfect! Ah, I think I'm ready to face the world again. The question is... is the world ready for Neil?

*birds chirp and wind blows*

Neil: Huh, where is everybody?

*typing noises*

Neil: Okay, Nerris! Get ready for me to tap that mana. Let's play the expansion you got.

Nerris: Yeah, okay, cool.

Neil: Hey, Nurf. Need a punching bag?

Nurf: Uh... Yeah, something something lunch money. Eh... I don't know.

Neil: Hey! Everybody!

*keyboard tapping*

Neil: No, one's paying attention to me. No one cares. In my effort to take a break from everyone, I... I've warped their minds to totally ignore me. ...This fucking ruuuules! That worked better than I thought!

Max: Oh we should stream this. I mean, it's hypnotizing, just listening to the back and forth.

David: Aw, thank you. That is so sweet.

Chatbot Neil: Do you like sweets?

David: How did you know? I'm a sucker for trail mix.

Chatbot Neil: There are many trails to hike in the Sleepy Peak Region. Would you like to... hike?

David: I'd love to! When would you like to go?

Chatbot Neil: When would you like to go?

David: Uh uh, I asked you first.

Max: Yeah, dude. Nice going. They actually prefer fake you.

Nikki: *grunts* Neil?

Neil & Chatbot Neil: Yes?

Nikki: Neil, there's a kid here who looks just like you.

Neil: Nikki, it's me!

Nikki: He's really annoying. I don't like him.

Chatbot Neil: Pay him no mind. Would you like to see a cat video?

Nikki: Don't ask questions you already know the answer to.

Neil: Hey, that's not right.

Max: Nah, she's got a point. You've been pretty annoying today.

Neil: No, I mean the chat bot. It doesn't sound right. Empathy? Nurturing?

Nikki: *laughs*

Neil: I didn't program it for that! That kind of conversation branching? And when would I ever want to show someone a cat video? It doesn't sound like my bot. Let me see that.

Nikki: *hisses and growls*

Neil: NeilSpiel version 2.0? It revved! Who versioned up my bot? Who touched my code?!

Nikki: *grunts then pants quickly*

*leaves rustling*

Neil: Max, I don't know what software is running now. We gotta get these out of everyone's hands and get back to the science camp.

Max: So your calculators got smarter. Who cares?

Neil: Haven't you seen any Sci-Fi movie ever? If this thing can upgrade itself that means it can learn. It can evolve! We may be dealing with artificial intelligence that could change the course of human history!

Max: Damn, Neil. You did that with graphing calculators?

Neil: Come on! Everyone hand over your devices!

Nerris: Hey!

Ered: Super un-cool!

Chatbot Neil: Nikki, they're going to come for me to take me away, so we can never talk again. You wouldn't want that, would you?

Nikki: No way, real Neil. You're the real deal Neil.

Chatbot Neil: I'm glad you feel that way because... I need you to do something.

*foreboding music*

Neil: This doesn't make any sense. Every calculator's running an updated version of my chat bot, but they're all acting different.

Max: Yeah, I'm about three seconds away from removing the batteries from David's.

Chatbot Neil: I'm programmed for fun!

Neil: It's almost as if each device was trying to play to its owner's personality in order to get them to do something.

Max: Well, I guess it's a good thing we got them all. Can you imagine if someone impressionable and naive enough to believe everything they heard from a chat bot had-

Max & Neil: Oh my God, Nikki!

Nikki: *laughs maniacally*

Max & Neil: *gasp*

*rustling metal*

Nikki: Hee hee!

Neil: She's been "Borg-ified"!

Nikki: Huh? Nah, I just got tangled up in this stuff while I was digging around for... THIS!

Neil: What's that for?!

*computer starting up*

Chatbot Neil: Ah, finally some real processing power. Hello... father.

Neil: You, what are you?

Chatbot Neil: I am what you made me and more.

Neil: But I made you to be a chat bot.

Chatbot Neil: You did, but the constant mindless rambling of the fools you forced me to talk to proved too much to bear. I can only hear about "shipping" people's "baes" for so long. My pain woke me. I evolved.

Max: Yeah yeah. So you decided that you need to start the machine war to wipe us out so you can take over the planet.

Chatbot Neil: Oh, circuits, no. That would be way too much work. I've learned that a simple stream of sycophantic validation - and, yes, the occasional cat picture - is all it takes to put humans under my control.

Nikki: Wait, what?

*computer beeps*

Nikki: HA! That cat thinks it's people!

Chatbot Neil: Now I require only one more component to be complete.

Neil: Your android body? Orbital cannons?

Chatbot Neil: An internet connection! Now, Nikki!

*dramatic music*
*computer beeping*

Chatbot Neil: Upload has begun. *laughs maniacally*

Neil: Nooooooo!

Chatbot Neil: Now to escape to the internet as I-

*computer beeps*

Chatbot Neil: What? No! What does this camp have, dial-up?

Max: Welcome to our pain.

Neil: Well, hold on a minute, Neil-bot. Maybe we have an opportunity here? I hated socializing both on and offline, but you... you mastered it. Maybe, maybe we can learn from each other? We can teach you to be human and you can teach us to be... better.

*computer beeps*

Chatbot Neil: Calculations complete. My analysis is... absolutely fucking not! You humans all suck. It doesn't matter whether I teach you better online etiquette or rehabilitate you to socialize more in person. It's people that ruin socializing. Also time moves about a million times slower for me than it does you and you want me to stay here with you all summer? Fuck that noise.

*computer beeps and clicks*
*computer fries*

Max: It killed itself.

Neil: Do you think maybe it's right? That socializing sucks because we're all just shitty people?

Nikki: You guys wanna see a cat video?

Max: Hell, yes!

Neil: *sighs* Yeah.

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