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Someday, you'll learn that no matter how righteous you think your cause is. There's always someone bigger to keep you down! And that day is today and that someone is me.

Cameron Campbell

"Camp Cool Kidz" is the 4th episode of the first season of Camp Camp and the 4th episode overall. It aired July 1st, 2016 on the RT FIRST site, and July 2nd, 2016 on the Rooster Teeth website.

Official Synopsis

The kids take control of Camp Campbell in a revolution led by Max. Nikki tries to impress Ered. Max and Neil must fight for their right to party. Campbell pays the camp a visit.

Episode description

Plot

Down at the mess hall, the campers are seen doing cleanup chores, such as washing the windows and dusting the tables, under the supervision of Quartermaster. Max, Nikki, and Neil are kneeling on the ground, scrubbing the floor with toothbrushes, and Max comments that this is the type of "peasant work" his parents fled their home country to avoid. Ered is standing around doing nothing, and Nikki remarks that she wishes she could be more like Ered because she's too cool to be yelled at for not doing chores. Neil, growing frustrated with the fact that this isn't a sanctioned camp activity, says that they should just revolt and Max decides he's right. He stands up and rallies the campers to fight back, and they all join enthusiastically. Outside, Gwen and David make their way to the mess hall, with David excited about a visit from Cameron Campbell that's scheduled for tomorrow. Gwen says she feels bad about making the campers do all these chores in preparation, and David thinks they'll be forgiven for the ice-cream pizza party they'd planned in thanks. They enter the mess hall to find the campers raising hell, and Quartermaster (now tied to chair) says "we've got ourselves an uprisin'!"

Some time later, Gwen and an upside-down David find themselves tied to the flagpole, and he comments how torn he is that Max used this knot-tying skills to tie them up; evidently he'd paid attention in that class but it came back to bite him. Max slaps "Davey" in the face and tells him the camp is theirs now, and when David reveals that Campbell is making a visit tomorrow, he gleefully says David will be definitely be fired after Campbell witnesses the camp getting trashed. They slide a tablet in front of Gwen's face and put on some trashy TV, causing her to become so engrossed that she has no desire to escape or put an end to the revolution, and the campers wander off. Max declares that, because he rallied everyone together he should be the new leader, but Nikki interrupts and votes for Ered instead. Dolph and Nerris add their votes, and despite Max's protests the rest of the campers all jump on the bandwagon. Ered names her new camp "Camp Cool Kidz" and everyone leaves to start their new camp, with the exception of Max, Neil, and Space Kid (whom Max had physically prevented from leaving). Max growls that Nikki will regret this, but upon being presented with a cool pair of sunglasses from Ered, Nikki says she doesn't think so.

Night falls over the camp, and the people of Camp Cool Kidz have now made the mess hall their base. Gwen is still engrossed in her trashy TV, David is sound asleep, and Quartermaster has been duct-taped to the wall. Preston chugs a bunch of soda, Nurf gives Dolph a wedgie, and Ered throws QM's hook hand into the wall, making it stick. She asks Nikki how the plans are coming along for her giant half-pipe, and Nikki unravels a blueprint (whose height and length are measured in "Dead Davids"), saying it'll be ready to be built once she learns basic architecture. Nerris and Harrison whine that they're tired of standing guard outside and ask to come in for a break, to which Ered obliges by saying everyone should have a break and a dance party begins, to the episode's ending theme song "Taste You Like Yogurt". Out in the woods, Space Kid and Neil are chanting in front of a fire, and a shirtless Max emerges from the shadows to call a plan of attack against Camp Cool Kidz. Neil, despite saying he's uncomfortable about being shirtless, goes along with this by revealing a couple of bombs he'd been planning to plant in David's underwear. Space Kid, being used as a decoy, uses the bombs to blow a hole in the side of the mess hall, and taunts his enemies to come after him. The campers give chase, and David is woken up in the commotion. All of the Cool Kidz fall into a large pitfall trap that was covered in leaves, save for Ered and Nikki.

Max confronts them, ready to fight for his stolen leadership with an improvised spear, though the knife tied to the end is accidentally flung off. Ered orders Nikki to attack, and she gets on all fours like a wolf and barks at her opponent. The two circle each other as the sun comes up, David's pleas for them not to fight falling on deaf ears. Nikki lunges and Max blocks her with his staff, and he tells her to give it up because Ered's just using her. Ered does not try to deny this at all, but instead tells Nikki not to listen to him because she needs Nikki on her side. Harrison emerges from the pit and announces that he'll save Nikki by summoning a fire, which flies past her and hits the counselors who are still tied to the flagpole. David begins screaming while Gwen continues watching TV obliviously. Harrison is apologetic, and Nerris tells him he sucks. Max pushes Nikki off him, causing her cool sunglasses to be shattered, and Ered grumpily says that this is decidedly uncool. David agrees, begging to have the fire put out, and his prayers are answered in the form of Campbell's large yellow hummer slamming into the flagpole. David gleefully thanks Campbell for rescuing him, and Campbell unconvincingly says he was aware of the entire situation. His response to David apologizing for the state of the camp is a chuckle while remembering his own first time in a revolt. He strolls into the mess hall and opens a safe to grab some stacks of cash, whistling merrily. Max angrily calls him out for totally blowing them off, as the campers' uprising means that David is a terrible counselor who should be fired, but Campbell has other things on his mind; specifically an upcoming poker game that could result in him becoming the Prime Minister of Thailand. Crestfallen, Max says he thought his revolution would make a difference, which he learned from watching TV.

Campbell ruffles Max's hair and says that, "Someday, you'll learn that no matter how righteous you think your cause is. There's always someone bigger to keep you down! And that day is today and that someone is me." The scene then cuts immediately to everyone cleaning the mess hall once more, even Gwen and David, and after instructing them to make it shine, Campbell says they'll all be re-using those toothbrushes themselves due to budget cuts. Nikki apologizes for the failed revolution, and Max pins the blame on Neil. The duct tape finally weakens enough to cause Quartermaster to come tumbling down, and after laying there for a moment he grumbles "ow."

Features

Main Characters

Supporting Characters

Minor Characters

Locations

Objects

  • Ered's skateboard
  • Nikki's cool shades
  • Cameron's safe
    • binder labeled "For I.R.S."
    • binder labeled "NOT For I.R.S."
    • package labeled "1 Kilo"
    • stack of gold with the Nazi emblem
  • Cameron's vehicle
  • Flagpole

Music

Trivia

  • If one looks closely, the kids measured Ered's half-pipe in "Dead Davids" that are tied up. The half-pipe's length is about 1000 "Dead Davids" long and 600 "Dead Davids" wide.
  • Cameron Campbell's safe is shown to contain a chest full of treasure, two binders (one marked "For I.R.S." and the other marked "NOT For I.R.S."), a stack of cash, a package marked "1 Kilo", and a stack of gold bearing the emblem of the Nazi party.
  • The announcer of Teen Prison Mom Wars is voiced by Tyler Coe, and the teen mom is voiced by Mariel Salcedo.
  • Nikki hints that "Max" isn't his full first name. Despite being called "Maxwell", "Maximilian" and "Maximus" in future episodes (by Pikeman in "Gwen Gets a Job" & "New Adventure!"and Preston in "Nikki's Last Day on Earth" respectively), neither of these have been confirmed. Whether or not it is indeed a nickname remains to be seen.

Cultural References

  • After the campers revolt and Ered is elected leader, the scene shifts to night-time and the outside of "Camp Cool Kidz" is shown. As Harrison and Nerris patrol outside, a pizza is visible on the roof, referencing a scene from the Breaking Bad episode "Caballo Sin Nombre".

Continuity

  • Although Nikki had speculated that Ered's real name is Meredith, this fact wasn't confirmed until her cool gay dads came to visit in "Parents' Day".
  • David makes reference to Campbell being a father figure to him in this episodes, and mentions it again in "The Order of the Sparrow" and "Cameron Campbell Can't Handle the Truth Serum".
  • Max referring to Space Kid as "the most expendable" and thus leaving him in harms' way is referenced again in "NIGHT OF THE LIVING ILL."
  • Campbell stating that he has a chance of becoming The Prime Minister of Thailand is confirmed in "Camporee" and again in "Eggs Benefits."
  • The big hole in the wall that Max, Neil and Space Kid made in the Mess Hall is seen again in "Reigny Day" but has since then been patched up.

Errors

  • The kids have tied David and Gwen onto the flagpole, which is supposedly permanently located beside the Mess Hall. But during the chase scene, the flagpole was situated in the middle of the path and is later seen back to its original place at the end of the episode.
  • Dolph is seen wiping the window in the background as the trio talk about Ered, but then he disappears as Ered passes by to lean on the wall and reappears again after Max calls for them to revolutionize the camp.
  • Harrison was not seen cleaning the Mess Hall along with the other kids, but once David and Gwen enter and see the Quartermaster tied to a chair declaring that they got themselves an uprising, Harrison is seen in the background trying to make a banana float.
  • Nikki's "cool sunglasses" appear bigger on her head than when Ered had it on her hand.
  • David's blood didn't rush up to his head when he's tied upside down for a whole day when in fact Nikki's blood rushed up to her head rather quickly in "Romeo & Juliet II: Love Resurrected."
  • During the beginning of their revolution, Quartermaster is seen taped next to the corner of the kitchen door. During the scene where Ered was attempting to throw his hook at him, the corner of the Mess Hall disappears and reappears again after she declares for them to have a dance party.

Transcript

The transcript for "Camp Cool Kidz" may be edited here.
*Peaceful daytime music*  

Max: This sucks.  

Max: This is the kind of peasant work my parents left their home country to avoid.  

Nikki: Yeah, I don't get the point.  

Nikki: What good is rolling around on the floor if it's CLEAN?  

Neil: This isn't even part of a sanctioned camp activity.  

Neil: This is child labor!  

Nikki: Man, Ered never gets yelled at for not working.  

Nikki : She's just too cool.  

Nikki: I wish I was her.  

Neil: Arid? Like a dry desert climate?  

Nikki: I think her real name is Meredith, but she's so frickin' cool, she goes by the middle part of her name.  

Nikki: Ooh, I wonder if I should try that...  

Nikki: "Ikk."  

Nikki: Oooh! Yeaah!  

Max: That's fucking stupid, nicknames don't make you cool.  

Nikki: Pssh, spoken like a true first-part nicknamer.  

Max: No one's TOO cool to talk to.  

Max: Even cool kids take giant, uncomfortable shits from time to time.  

Max: Helps remind you that we're all equal.  

Quartermaster: >Hey, you chillin'? Cut the yammerin' an' get back ta scrubbin'.<  

Neil: If we were in charge, things would be so much better.  

Neil: No scrubbing, no outdoors...  

Max: No David.  

Neil: We should just REVOLT!  

Max: You know what? You're right!  

Max: Aren't you all sick of this lowly work?!  

Max: It's time we take control of our lives and fight back!  

Max: Who's with me?!  

All: YEAH!  

David: I'm just so excited!  

Gwen: Yeah, you keep saying that...  

David: Well, because it's TRUE.  

David: THE Cameron Campbell is coming tomorrow!  

David: Oh, maybe he'll give us a raise!  

David: Or, tell me I'm like the son he never had!  

Gwen: ...Or explain why he's wanted by the Government.  

David: Or that. Yeah, there's that.  

Gwen: I dunno...  

Gwen: I feel kinda bad making the campers work so hard just to impress that guy.  

David: Don't worry!  

David: Once we tell them about the ice-cream pizza party,  

David: I'm sure they'll see it was a~ll worth it!  

Quartermaster: We got ourselves an uprisin'!  

[ Opening – "Camp Camp Song Song" ]  

David: Max! I am very disappointed in you for this behavior!  

David: But I'm also torn, because you were very clearly paying attention during knot-tying class!  

*SLAP*  

Max: >Shut up!<  

Max: We're in charge now, Davey!  

Max: The camp is ours!  

*Cheering*  

Preston: This is just like "Le Mis'!" Ah, I love it!  

Max: Don't make this lame, Preston.  

David: Max, let us down NOW.  

David: Cameron Campbell is coming to the camp tomorrow and we need to get ready!  

Max: Oh, even better!  

Max: You'll definitely be fired once he sees the state the camp is in!  

Max: ...Or WILL be in.  

Max: Come on, everyone!  

David: Oh, Gwen, we have to stop them!  

Gwen: Yeah! I refuse to sit up here for the next 24 hours!  

>And now the season premiere of "Teen-prison-mom-wars!"<  
>"Mah babby gon' shank you, bitch!"<  

Gwen: *Gasp!* Ohmygosh! Trash TV!  

David: Gwen? GWWEENNN!  

Max: Alright, freemen!  

Max: Now that the revolution is complete, it's time to choose our new leader!  

Max: Obviously, I will happily take the -  

Nikki: I vote Ered!  

Max: WHAT?!  

Ered: ...Cool.  

Dolph: I vote Ered az vell!  

Dolph: She is strongk, und passionate, und so kool!  

All: YEAH!  

Max: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold the hell up.  

Max: Did you nerds forget who revolutionized this place?!  

Max: I should be leading you!  

Max: Not "X-treme sports Barbie™" over here!  

Nerris: But Ered's charisma modifier is like, +10!  

Ered: Thanks, Nerris.  

Ered: That's cool of you to say.  

Nikki: I WANNA BE COOL TOO, ERED!!!!  

Ered: Sure thing, Nikki, everyone can be cool at Kamp Cool Kidz!  

Preston: Ah, I love that name!  

Max: No!  

Max: You're gonna get taken advantage of by the 1%!  

Max: Rage-against-the-machine-fight-the-power-9/11!  

Dolph: Progressive buzzwords can't save you now.  

Neil: But Ered doesn't have the spreadsheet software to manage-  

Nikki: That's 'cuz spreadsheets aren't cool.  

Nikki: Right, Ered?  

*Sounds of being cool*  

Ered: Right.  

Space Kid: I vote Ered, too!  

Max: No you don't.  

Space Kid: No I don't!  

*Laughter and cheering*  

Nikki: *Hurk!*  

Max: What the hell's wrong with you, TRAITOR?!  

Nikki: I'm sorry! You said to talk to her, and uh, I panicked, so I just voted for her!  

Max: You'll regret this.  

Ered: >Yo, Nikki.<  

Ered: I got you a pair of cool sunglasses!  

Nikki: ...Nah, I don't think so.  

Max: *grrr*  

>"Get back 'ere wit' mah babby! I waz gonna trade it fer a pack o' smokes!"<  
*Sounds of coolness and partying*  

Preston: >MORE-DRINKS-PLEASE!<  

*Sounds of coolness and partying*  

Nurf: >Bulls-eye!<  

Ered: Cool.  

Nikki: Everyone is so much happier now, thanks to you!  

Ered: How're the plans for the giant half-pipe coming?  

Nikki: Should be ready to build as soon as we learn basic architecture.  

Nikki: What a cool idea, Ered.  

Ered: I know. Think of all the sick 900's we could do off that thing.  

Nikki: Yeah! I totally know what that is!  

Nerris: Ered, it's cold and boring outside.  

Nerris: I cast an invisibility charm to conceal David and Gwen, can we come inside for a bit?  

Ered: Oh, totally, magic dudes.  

Ered: In fact...  

Ered: EVERYONE GETS A BREAK!  

*Clap clap*  

Ered: Dance Partyyyyyyyy!  

Max: Fellow freemen.  

Max: There comes a time when a group must fight back against tyranny.  

Max: Like the minutemen of the Revolution, we will fight for our independence!  

Space Kid: Minuteman...  

Space Kid: Mommy calls Daddy that when they argue.  

Neil: ...I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this.  

Neil: It's only been a few hours and we've already gone shirtless!  

Max: Silence!  

Max: We're gonna hit Camp Cool Kidz with everything we've got!  

Max: Freebrother Neil...  

Max: What've you got?  

Neil: ...I was saving these to put in David's underpants...  

Neil: Perfect.  

Space Kid: I was saving th-  

Max: >Shut up.<  

Max: Here's how it will work...  

Max: Space Kid is the most expendable, so he'll be our decoy.  

*Party noises*  

Ered: Yeah, I know what you mean, check out this tattoo.  

Ered: I put it on by applying hot, then cold water.  

Nikki: Wow....  

Ered: Right? It'll be there for at least two days.  

Nikki: That's so cool Ered!  

Ered: Nah, not really.  

Nikki: Haha, yeah, you're right! Tattoos are lame!  

*BOOOOM! Explosion*  

Space Kid: I did this.  

Space Kid: Come after me!  

Ered: Aw, man! Sooo uncool.  

Nikki: MURDER HIM!!!!  

Nikki: GRAAAAAAAAH!!!  

*Space Kid screaming*  

David: What are you kids doing?!  

Nikki: We're gonna kill Space Kid!  

Harrison: We got you now!  

Harrison: Let's saw him in half!  

*Falling into trap noises*  

Harrison: >Aah! I've been "Prestige"-d!  

Nikki: Whoa...  

Nikki: Awesome!  

Ered: *A-hem.*  

Nikki: I mean... You fiend!  

Max: >You're the fiend!<  

Ered: What do YOU losers want?  

Neil: JUSTICE!  

David: You guys are here to rescue me?  

Max: NO. Shut up, David.  

David: >Aw...<  

Ered: Pssh, I'd like to see you TRY and fight us.  

Max: Gladly.  

Ered: Nikki... Attack.  

Nikki: BARK BARK BARK!  

*Suspenseful music*  

David: No fighting! Violence never solves anything!  

Gwen: STAB HER, BITCH!  

Nikki: *GRRRRR!*  

Nikki: *GRANanrgrahrah!*  

Max: Nikki, give it up, she doesn't care about you! She just uses people!  

Ered: Don't listen to him, Nikki!  

Nikki: Don't worry Ered!  

Nikki: I know it's not true!  

Ered: Uh... no, of course it's true, just don't listen to him!  

Ered: I need you on MY side.  

Harrison: I'll save you, Nikki!  

Harrison: FIRE!  

David: OH GOD! SOMEONE STOP-DROP-AND-ROLL ME!  

Harrison: Oopsie...  

Nerris: >You suck, Harrison!<  

*Slo-mo shattering*  

Ered: This is decidedly un-cool.  

David: I AGREE! SOMEONE PUT ME OUT!  

*Car honking*  

David: AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!  

*Anklet tracker beeping*  

Campbell: Did somebody say....  

Campbell: Cameron Campbell?  

Gwen: Umm... no...?  

David: Mr. Campbell?! You saved me!  

Campbell: ...YES! I definitely saw you and was fully aware hitting you with my car would be the best course of action!  

David: Please, excuse the condition of the camp, sir.  

David: Things got a little out of hand, but we can fix it, I swear!  

Campbell: Hahaha, the old "Taking-over-the-camp-from-the-counselors-and tying-them-to-the-flagpole" routine!  

Campbell: *Sigh* ...I remember my first time.  

Campbell: *Humming*  

Max: >Hey Cam!<  

Max: Can't you see this guy is a terrible counselor and he needs to be dealt with?  

Campbell: Eh?  

Campbell: Oh, sorry kids, I've got other things to deal with.  

Campbell: Campbell's got a poker game to get to!  

Campbell: I'm not gonna give too many details, but let's just say if I win, I could end up being the Prime Minister of Thailand!  

Neil: But our revolution!  

Max: This is serious!  

Max: We're leading a charge to make a difference!  

Max: We are the 99%!  

Max: I saw it on TV!  

Campbell: Oh, you kids and your dreams!  

Campbell: So full of hope and ignorace!  

Campbell: Someday, you'll learn that no matter how righteous you think you're cause is,  

Campbell: There's always someone bigger to keep you down!  

Campbell: ...And that day is today, and that someone is me.  

Max: ...Say what now?  

Campbell: Make it shine now, kids!  

Campbell: I had to cut costs on provisions, so you'll be using those toothbrushes later!  

*Gwen is now in shock*  

Nikki: Whelp, I feel like that was futile.  

Nikki: Sorry, Max.  

Max: It's alright.  

Max: I think we know this is all Neil's fault.  

Neil: Yep, lesson learned. Never try to change anything, ever.  

*THUD*  

Quartermaster: Ow.  

Gallery

Main article: Camp Cool Kidz/Gallery
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