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Rule one: No backing down. Look out, world! I'm hard and I'm coming! Whether he likes it or not, Nurf is gonna let me in!

David

"David Gets Hard" is the 9th episode of the first season of Camp Camp and is the 9th episode overall. It aired August 19th, 2016 on the RT FIRST site, August 20th, 2016 on the Rooster Teeth Website, and August 26th, 2016 on YouTube.

Official Synopsis

David enlists the help of Gwen and Max to toughen himself up for Nurf's behavioral correction camp. Will Nurf's deep-rooted issues prove to be too much for him?

—Episode description

Plot

At the end of a week jam-packed with camper-specific activities (such as Ered's Extreme Sports Camp and Harrison's Magic Camp), David and Gwen come to realize that the final camper of the week to receive a spotlight is Nurf - whose parents had signed him up for Behavioral Corrections Camp. Thrilled at the prospect of being scared straight, Nurf threatens the counselors to give him definitive results or else he'll tell his parents they molested him.

David and Gwen regroup inside the Mess Hall, with David saying he isn't tough enough to run a boot camp. Gwen replies that they are contractually obligated to, bitterly adding a refusal to move back in with her parents. Max drags Quartermaster's hook across a blackboard to make an entrance, claiming he can teach David "how to be mean, how to be hard, how to keep kids like Nurf out there from walking all over you!" Gwen agrees to Max's demands in exchange for extra desserts and David's social security number. After making a delightfully double-entendre'd speech, David kicks open the door to start whipping Nurf into shape (hurting himself in the process), leaving Max to wonder, "So, does he want to help Nurf or fuck him?"

Now sporting a drill sergeant hat and stern attitude, David comes upon Nurf repeatedly jabbing his knife into a tree, and tells him to hand it over. After a moment of pause, Nurf stabs right through David's left hand, landing him straight back in the Mess Hall, sobbing profusely as Gwen wraps him in bandages. David doubts that the "tough guy" facade will work, instead opting for hugs, as those always make him feel better. Max states he needs to change his perspective on life, using Gwen's behavior as an example. Despite David thinking of her as smart and helpful, Max interjects that she slacks off and has no idea what she's doing with her life, causing Gwen to run off in tears.

The previous demonstration still fresh in his mind, David marches over to Nurf, who's fishing from the edge of the dock , a kitten as bait. David's attempt at a stern speech starts off badly, and only descends into weaker and even complimentary language as Max's repeated attempts to coach him fall completely on deaf ears. Nurf states that the assumption he's always been a bad kid is narrow-minded: he explains that he once chewed a Pop-Tart into the shape of a gun, receiving a school suspension and labelled a problem child. He was then sent away to a place where the same negative mentality continued, thus warping his attitude permanently, and now only believes he can be what the world tells him he is, "A loser. A lost cause. A bully." Max and David listen in stunned silence, and David kneels down to apologize. Nurf promptly stabs through David's other hand and pushes him into the lake.

Back in the Mess Hall with more crying and bandages, Gwen informs the boys that "being tough isn't the same as being an asshole", and that they should take this from a more psychological approach, leaning into her (useless) dual-major in psychology for instruction.

Outside, Nikki and Neil are casually kicking a soccer ball around, musing about joining in for a potentially crazy adventure the next week, when Nurf rushes up to punt the ball across the activities field. He snidely claims he didn't see them, but in the same breath admits he was just acting out for attention. David calls him over to a nearby set-up meant to resemble a psychiatrist's office, saying they need to talk. Despite Nurf's immediate comparison to Freud making him wither, David gathers his resolve, explaining that, since the boy seems to have a relatively strong grasp on the events that led to his poor behavior, talking it through might be helpful. Nurf takes a seat, and begins by saying, "I think it all started when I joined the ballet."

A short montage follows, wherein Nurf re-enacts a scene of physical violence, looks at Rorschach-esque ink blots, and even swaps seats with David at one point (who gets a smack upside the head from his co-counselor). Nurf ultimately concludes that his behavioral problems seem to be stemming from a vast variety of issues, but that it's his choice to decide what labels he wants to go by, rather than those cast upon him by society. With tears in his eyes, David expresses his pride, and asks Nurf what he's going to do now. Of course, Nurf's idea is to stab his dad "to break the cycle", and when David inevitably decries that thought, the situation immediately escalates. Nurf throws a knife at David, narrowly missing him, flips over the couch, and beings swinging and slashing at the rest of the campers with another knife. Gwen and Max look on in horror, but David soon declares that he is going to try his way, "aggressive pacifism". As he runs off to deal with Nurf, Gwen rolls her eyes and leaves to go get more bandages.

Nurf has cornered a cowering Nerris, who swings a foam sword at him in self-defense, when David comes running up, yelling for him to stop. Nurf says he's done talking, but David opens his arms for a hug. He manages to step on the soccer ball that Nikki and Neil were playing with earlier, causing him to slip and fall forward, slapping Nurf hard in the face on his way down. Everyone gasps in shock, Nurf drops his knife and carefully touches his swollen cheek. David quickly gets up, apologizing and asking if he's okay. Nurf quietly replies that he can't believe he's subjected people to the same pain, and that he wants to go sit in his tent and think about his behavior. David is horrified when Nurf thanks him, and protests that they need to talk about the situation. The crowd disperses, and Max muses that "sometimes you just gotta hit kids", leaving David alone with his thoughts.

Features

Major Characters

Supporting Characters

Minor Characters

Locations

Music

Trivia

  • Nurf is shown to have a large amount of concealed knives and impressive aim with them as well.
  • As revealed in "Reigny Day", this episode also hints at a sadder side to Nurf; the other side of the tree he repeatedly stabs appears to have "CRY FOR HELP" scratched into it. He also tells David a sad story about being pigeonholed as a "problem child", but stabs David in the hand when he tries to show sympathy. He later bullies Neil and Nikki, but is very openly self-aware and acknowledges that he's just acting out for attention. When Nurf finally opens up, he mentions that his problem behavior started around the time he joined the ballet earlier in childhood.
    • Nurf mimes out a scene where he is choked by someone taller then him during the musical interlude, then later says he wants to stab his dad to "break the cycle", which all but outright confirms he's been physically abused by his dad. There is also the fact that his mom is in jail (for assault with a weapon), as confirmed in a future episode "Parents' Day", but at least their relationship dynamic is very loving.

Cultural References

  • Yet another Nazi-related visual gag is made about Dolph: he is seen painting an image of a Superman-like superhero with blond hair, blue eyes, and a "Ü" on his chest (presumably short for "Übermensch").
  • The same set of props from the episode "Romeo & Juliet II: Love Resurrected" (containing a trumpet, a plunger, a bowling ball, and what appears to be ORF from X-Ray and Vav) reappears in this episode in front of Scotty when the Visual Comedy Camp is mentioned.
    • Scotty himself is a caricature of comedian Carrot Top, who is known for prop comedy, whose given name is Scott Thompson.[1]
  • A crude drawing of Nurf is seen in the scene where Max drags Quartermaster's hook across the chalkboard, with the words "Chris Browns" pointing towards his fist, which is referencing Chris Brown's domestic abuse of Rihanna.
    • Max getting people's attention by scraping a chalkboard might also be a reference to the film "Jaws"), where Quint does the same.
  • Max telling Gwen, "There's no time-traveling doctor coming to save you!" is a direct reference to Doctor Who, of which Gwen is obviously an avid fan.
  • Nurf alludes to the infamous 2014 incident of a child in Maryland eating a pop tart into the shape of a gun and being suspended for it.
  • When being approached by David to start a therapy session, Nurf directly mentions both Sigmund Freud and his infamous theory of the Oedipus complex.
    • David later shows Nurf a Rorschach test (that arguably looks like a man having sex with someone or something else).
  • Nerris being cornered and stammering "You shall not pass!" is a very well-known quote from the film The "Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring".
  • After Gwen declares that she'll go get the bandages, she comes back with a kit labeled "Second Aid", which is a nod to the real-world term "First Aid".

Continuity

  • Camp Campbell having to cut costs on provisions once more to find props "IN "BUDGET" for Scotty's Visual Comedy Camp.
  • Gwen reveals that she dual-majored in Psychology in this episode, and that fact is later mentioned again in "Gwen Gets a Job" and "Camp Corp.".
  • Gwen also reveals that if she were ever to go jobless, she'd have to move back in with her parents, which she greatly despises.
    • Gwen's father makes an appearance in "Party Pooper", and her mother is also mentioned to be alive and well.
  • Nurf is gifted a knife from his mom in "Anti-Social Network", stating she's in jail, which is later confirmed in "Parents' Day". This could explain the endless supply of knives he had in this episode.
  • Gwen telling David that he got blood on her boots is referenced again when Erin tells Tabii the same in the episode "Bonjour Bonquisha".
  • The wide-stance confident march that David does while approaching Nurf fishing out on the dock is seen again at the end of "Cult Camp", just before David attempts to fire Daniel.
  • The Nurf-centric nature of the episode, as well as the overall low screen time of the main cast, is lampshaded by Neil and Nikki. Nikki also stated that they will probably do something crazy next week anyway, a reference to the fact that they have much more prominent roles in the next episode.

Errors

  • After Nurf pushes David into the lake after stabbing him a second time, David doesn't seem to show any signs that he's been underwater during the scene where Gwen was patching him up a second time.
  • The bandage roll that Gwen was using to patch up David's other hand went missing after she dropped it after Max tells David that she's the worst.
  • When David held up the Rorschach card to Nurf, the bandages around his hands disappear. They reappear again on the next scene.
  • The clipboard David was holding disappears after Nurf says that he's going to stab his dad.
  • The knife that Nurf was holding disappears after he drops it when David accidentally slaps him on the face.

Transcript

The transcript for "David Gets Hard" may be edited here.
David: T-G-I-F, kiddos! Boy has it been a week! Monday we went base jumping for Ered's Extreme Sports Camp. Tuesday we froze Harrison alive for Magic Camp.  

Nerris: I can fix that...  

David: Wednesday was a double-whammy for Arts and Performance!  

Dolph: *sinister tone* Do not move a muscle.  

David: And all of these hilarious props and gags are courtesy of Thursday's Visual Comedy Camp!  

*toy horn honk*  

Max: Thursday's over, Scotty. Go back to your tent.  

*sad toy horn honk*  

David: So, Gwen, which camper are we focusing on to wrap up the week?  

Gwen: Uh...  

David: Come on, co-counselor. Who's it gonna be?  

Gwen: It's... Nurf.  

*dramatic sting*  

Space Kid: Breach!  

David: Oh dear. Nurf's... camp?  

Neil: What camp did Nurf sign up for?  

Gwen: Nurf... didn't sign up for a camp. His parents signed him up... for behavioral correction camp.  

David: *quivering* Boot Camp.  

Nurf: FUCK YEAH! Scare me straight! In all seriousness though, if I don't see definitive results, I'm contacting my parents.  

David: I don't—  

Nurf: AND DON'T BE A FUCKING FA—  

*bleep*  

Nurf: —or I'll tell them you touched me!  

*toy horn honk*  
[ Opening – "Camp Camp Song Song" ]  

Gwen: Right. We knew this day would come.  

David: I don't know if I can do this, Gwen! Camp is supposed to be about learning... and having fun!  

Gwen: Well we're gonna learn that little shit some MANNERS, David! Because we are contractually obligated to! I am NOT... moving back in with my parents.  

David: *whining* But I'm not tough enough to run a boot camp!  

*screeching*  

Max: Thank you.  

Quartermaster: Mhmm.  

Max: YOU may not be tough enough to run a boot camp, David, but I can teach you.  

David: Teach me?  

Max: Oh yeah. Teach you how to be mean — how to be HARD! How to keep kids like Nurf out there from walking all over you! After all, there's only one camper at Camp Campbell worse than him, and it's me.  

Gwen: What do you want?  

Max: Double dessert, no activities for a week, and David's social security number.  

Gwen: Done.  

David: Gwen!  

Gwen: SHUT UP, DAVID.  

David: Okay.  

Max: No! You can't just back down the moment someone gets in your face, idiot!  

Gwen: Yeah! Ya gotta stand up for yourself! I can't do this alone, which means you've got to pull yourself together!  

David: Gosh darnit, you're right, Gwen. Today's the day I get hard!  

Gwen: Okay maybe we don't phrase it like that.  

David: Oh no! Rule 1: No backing down! Look out, world! I'm hard and I'm coming! Whether he likes it or not, Nurf is gonna let me in!  

*badass kick*  

David: Owie.  

Max: ... So does he want to help Nurf or fuck him?  

*military drumline*  

David: Alrighty, Nurf. It's high time we whipped you into shape! Uh... sonny! Now I am confiscating that pocket knife!  

David: *huge and ridiculous sobbing and wailing and whimpering*  

Max: You're pathetic.  

Gwen: And getting blood on my boots.  

David: Guys, I just don't know if this whole "tough guy" technique is going to work. What if we just... I don't know... give him a hug? Those always make me feel better!  

Max: NO HUGS! You've just got to change your perspective on life. Tell me, how do you feel about you co-counselor Gwen?  

David: *sniffles* Well... She's smart, she helps me run activities...  

Max: No, no! You're being positive again! Gwen's the fucking worst! She slacks off, reads garbage, and has no idea what she's doing with her life!  

Gwen: *seething* What.  

Max: There's no time-traveling doctor coming to save you, Gwen! Get your shit together!  

Gwen: *crying* I just want to have his British babies! *weeping intensifies*  

Max: Now, it's your turn.  

*dramatic sting*  
*kitty squealing*  

David: Nurf! I've got a bone to pick with you!  

Max: Let him have it.  

David: Now this may sound harsh, but gosh darnit, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE VERY NICE! In fact, I'd go as far to say, YOU'RE MEAN!  

Max: ...Okay let's dig a little deeper there, idiot.  

David: Right! I know that's probably hard to hear!  

Max: No...  

David: And may have even been a little too far!  

Max: Not at all...  

David: But by golly, it seems to me you've never been very polite to anyone!  

Max: *muttering* God damnit.  

David: I just don't think you're aware of the impact your behavior is having on other campers! But... you know... if you ARE aware of that, then that is some good self-awareness!  

Max: Okay now you're just complimenting him.  

Nurf: So, the tough love approach, huh? You know, my uncle believed in tough love. Turns out child protective services didn't, though.  

David: ...Excuse me?  

Nurf: Assuming I've always been bad is pretty narrow-minded of you, David. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm just a product of a judgmental, overprotective society?  

David: Uh...  

Nurf: I mean you chew ONE pop tart into the shape of a gun... and BAM! In-school suspension! Suddenly you're labeled a problem child. "You're not like the other kids. You're bad." So then you get sent to a place where other kids perpetuate the same negative mentality, making you worse, so that by the time you return to normal school life, you actually are bad. Thus continuing the endless cycle of crime and punishment. Until all that's left is a little boy. A little boy who only believes he can be what the world tells him he is. A loser. A lost cause. A bully.  

David: Nurf... I am so sorry.  

Nurf: Whatever, dick-turd!  

David: *squealing and sobbing*  

Matt: Man he is... way more fucked up than I thought.  

Gwen: You two are idiots. Being tough isn't the same as being an asshole. You guys gotta take this from a more psychological approach.  

Max: How would you know?  

Gwen: As a matter of fact, I dual-majored in psychology.  

Max: So you have TWO useless degrees?  

Gwen: ... Yeah.  

David: *sobbing* What are you suggesting?  

Gwen: Well...  

Neil: You sure you don't want to get in on this whole Nurf-centric adventure today?  

Nikki: Yeah, I'm good. We'll probably do something crazy next week.  

Nurf: *sarcastic* Oops! Didn't see ya there! Just kidding, I was fully aware of the situation. I'm just acting out for attention. That being said, I do think I need corrective lenses. My mom just won't take me.  

David: Nurf! I think it's time we all had a little talk.  

Nurf: Oh so we're doing the whole freudian thing now? Everyone wants to fuck their own mom. Get over it.  

David: *whimpering*  

Gwen: *whisper* Be strong.  

David: Nurf, we feel as though you have a relatively strong grasp on the events that have led to your negative behavior, and we wanted to walk through them with you together, in the hopes of finding a solution. This isn't going to be easy, but we think— PUT THE KNIFE DOWN. But we think that this is the only way we're going to get to the root of your issues. So, Nurf, what do ya say?  

Nurf: Well... I think it all started when I joined the ballet...  

*orchestra playing warm, ambling melody*  

Nurf: So really all these behavioral problems seem to be stemming from a vast variety of issues, but what's truly important is that I don't allow society's labels to define who I am. That choice belongs to me and me alone, and I think I finally understand that.  

David: *crying* I think so too, Nurf. So, what are you gonna do now?  

*heartwarming, swelling music, which suddenly stops*  

Nurf: STAB MY DAD!  

David: NO! What?! Why!?  

Nurf: I don't know, to break the cycle! What do you expect, I'm just a kid! Eat my farts, butt-nut! Hyah!  

*kids screaming*  

Gwen: Jesus! What do we do!  

Max: And where does he keep getting knives!  

David: Gosh darnit! We are going to do things MY way! With aggressive pacifism!  

Gwen: I'll get the bandages.  

Nerris: Y-y-you shall not pass!  

Nurf: Heh-heh. Heh. Heh! *snort*  

David: Wait, Nurf! Stop!  

Nurf: No! I'm done talking! My emotions can only be expressed through sadistic tendencies!  

David: I don't want to talk! Or shout, or any of that! I just want to give you a hug! Come here, little guy!  

*simultaneous gasps*  

David: Oh my gosh! Nurf! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?  

Nurf: Woah... That... really hurt... Jeez, I can't believe I've been subjecting people to physical violence like this. I feel kind of bad about my behavior.  

David: ... What?  

Nurf: Yeah, I think I'm gonna go sit down in my tent and... think about what I did today. Sorry, everybody.  

Gwen: Huh. I guess you... did it, David. Good job.  

David: But I didn't —  

Nurf: Hey, David. Thanks for everything.  

David: No... WAIT! We need to talk about this! This is not okay!  

Nurf: Nah, man, I'm good. I'm gonna tell everyone about how you helped me today. Goodbye, friends!  

Max: Well. I guess it turns out at the end of the day... sometimes you just gotta hit kids!  

Gallery

Main article: David Gets Hard/Gallery

References

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