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Oh no. I hope you learned, David. I hope you learned that before today, you only had one little bastard to deal with. But now you've got three!

Max

"Escape from Camp Campbell" is the 1st episode in the first season of the Web Series, Camp Camp, and is the 1st episode overall in the series. It aired June 10th, 2016 on the RT FIRST site, June 11th, 2016 on the Rooster Teeth website, and June 17th, 2016 on YouTube.

Official Synopsis

Max tries to take advantage of the bus dropping off new campers to Camp Campbell to mount an escape. Newcomers Nikki and Neil ask some important questions, and David tries to sing a song.

—Episode description

Plot

A new day has dawned at Camp Campbell, and camp counselor David is delighted that they're getting "not one, not three, but two new campers today!" Max states that it's horrifying, and David teases him a bit over the possibility of making new friends. Max says that camp is where kids get sent when their parents don't wanna deal with them anymore, and that kids return the favor by sticking them in retirement homes when they hit 70. David thinks it odd that Max is waiting with him, and Max explains that he's totally not hoping to hitch a ride back to the city since the bus only comes to pick up and drop off people to this "fucking nightmare of a camp". David warns Max to watch his language. The bus then arrives and David runs out in to the road to greet it, mowing him down in the process. Nikki jumps off the bus excited about being out in the woods, then bites David in a show of dominance when he reaches out to greet her. Also on board is the slightly neurotic Neil, asking if this is Science Camp, but Nikki believes this is Adventure Camp. David starts telling them that Camp Campbell is both of those things before the bus suddenly knocks him down again. Max's attempt to drive away is thwarted by his short stature, and Quartermaster removes him from the bus before opening a bottle of poison and declaring he's going on break. David orders that Max is not to leave his side for the rest of the day and Max takes this as a challenge.

David brings them on a tour of the camp, starting with the flagpole, and says he can't help but salute Campe Diem to the camp flag every time he sees it. They then enter the mess hall, where co-counselor Gwen is struggling to keep everyone under control, particularly Space Kid and Nurf. Space Kid has been tied to the ceiling fan and is spinning around excitedly, Nurf is seen holding the control switch, while Gwen is throwing utensils to try and get Space Kid unstuck. David turns the dial back down and Space Kid comes crashing to the ground. David reminds her they have new campers to orientate, and Gwen begrudgingly gets the laser disk of the orientation video ready for Nikki and Neil, ignoring David's suggestion to play the Camp Campbell song instead. Before they can even play the video, David begins to gush about the camp's founder, Cameron Campbell, who unbeknownst to David, is there with them today for once, since he's hiding in the attic from the authorities. Nikki and Neil are still wondering about Adventure Camp and Science Camp, respectively, and Campbell assures them that the tour will answer any questions they may have. He decides to accompany them on the tour since the FBI has just arrived, searching for him. They arrive at the activities field where the other campers' interests, and the camp's shoddy equipment, are showcased: Extreme Sports Camp (where Ered crashes through the half-pipe on her skateboard), Magic Camp, Space Camp, Theater Camp, Art Camp, Other Magic Camp (read: LARPing) and "lots more." David tries to play his song again to show off the variety but is turned down again by Gwen. Max is spotted running off into the forest, having left behind a life-sized knitted replica of himself to serve as a decoy. David thwarts Max's escape, telling him that perhaps Knitting Camp wasn't such a waste of time after all, and Max replies, "you are the bane of my existence."

Neil grows angry, having found the Science Camp, which consists of a few pieces of melted or mislabeled equipment, and beakers and flasks made of wood. He says he only wanted Science Camp, not "Science Camp and more!" It turns out that Nikki and Neil missed the fine print on the brochures, reading "and more" beneath the camps they thought they were signing up for, thus Campbell declares he can't sue them. Nikki reasons that Camp Campbell is "a sort of camp-camp". Neil decries the setup as bullshit, but Campbell butts in, explaining that times have changed and children aren't interested in a traditional summer camp anymore, "yet America isn't a traditional country, so why settle for anything less?" His speech becomes more impassioned, but then the FBI's car comes careening into the field and they open fire on Campbell, who briefly uses Space Kid as a shield while radioing for a helicopter to take him to the nearest international waters.

Gwen suffers an anxiety attack, and while David attends to her, Max quickly convinces Neil to come with him as he tries to beat the Quartermaster back to the bus and escape. Nikki, a self-proclaimed agent of chaos, creates a distraction for them, asking David to sing the camp song, which he is delighted to do. While he's singing, Max, Nikki, and Neil make a run for it, now with a life-size knit replica of all three of them left behind in their stead. They are quickly pursued by Gwen and David, who are only pushed back when Nikki throws her 1st Day Camper badge at David. Max taunts the counselors before driving the bus to freedom, saying they'll never be seen again. Within moments, the bus and the FBI's car have been totaled from a head-on collision, and the errant campers are brought back to camp by the Sheriff of Sleepy Peak after giving David a ticket for the damages. Everyone has pretty much taken the incident in stride, but Max remains defiant. Before this day, David only had one self-proclaimed little bastard to deal with, but now he has three, as Max leads his new friends to the tents. Gwen is understandably morose about this development, but David remains chipper about the fact that Max made "not one, not three, but two new friends today!" and is then swiftly beaten to the ground with his own guitar after offering to sing a song to lift her spirits.

Features

Main Characters

Supporting Characters

Minor Characters

Location

Music

Trivia

  • Gwen says that Campbell has missed the opportunity to greet new campers for years, implying that she has worked there for at least few summers.
  • Gwen repeatedly prevents David from singing a song, which turns out to be the Camp Camp Song Song. He finally gets to sing the beginning of the song after Nikki asks him to, but it turns out to be a distraction so she, Max, and Neil can escape. From the next episode onwards, the song is used as the opening theme of the show.
    • Gwen repeatedly refuses to let David sing the "Camp Camp Song Song". Later on in "The Order of the Sparrow" - both alluding to and contrasting with this episode - Gwen closes the season with a slow, peaceful rendition of the theme song.
    • This episode, along with "Camp Corp." are the only episodes that don't include the show's theme song. While David does perform some of the song in this episode, it is entirely absent from the Season 3 finale.
  • Cameron Campbell uses Space Kid's helmet to deflect bullets, showing just how durable it is. Nurf punches the helmet so hard that he breaks it in "David Gets Hard", showing he is unnaturally strong.
  • Max is shown to be skilled at knitting, as he was able to knit three life-sized dolls of himself, Nikki and Neil, in a very short time span.

Cultural References

Continuity

  • When Quartermaster pulls up and says "kids are here," it mimics a few other similar moments across several episodes. In "Jermy Fartz (episode)" he says "new kid's here", in "Parents' Day" he says "parents are here", and in "New Adventure!" he says "bus is here."
  • The Quartermaster seems to be immune to poisoning as he is seen uncorking a bottle of poison during his break. He later drinks a cupful of poisoned Kool-Aid in "Cult Camp" and is completely unaffected.
  • David has an undeniable urge to salute the flag upon seeing it in this episode, and actually does this again in "Ered Gets Her Cool Back" and "Foreign Exchange Campers".
  • The video on the laser disc was most likely meant to be the version of the reel that was played in "Camp Campbell Wants YOU!" before the new footage from the current summer was spliced in.
  • David pulls a guitar out from behind his back multiple times in this episode, and does it again in "Cult Camp" when challenging Daniel to a musical duel.
  • Campbell calls Gwen by "Grace" and "Gretchen" by mistake, and the joke is repeated again in "Gwen Gets a Job" when several people call her by the wrong name.
  • Gwen mentions that she has a Liberal Arts degree which was later mentioned again in "Gwen Gets a Job" and "Quest to Sleepy Peak Peak."
  • While waiting for the bus to arrive with Neil and Nikki, Max states he's not there to make friends. In "Camp Corp.", he finally admits that the reason he tried to save the camp was because of his friendship with Nikki and Neil, showing growth to his character.
    • In "Who Peed the Lake", Max makes use of the word 'friends' twice when addressing the entire group of campers; once at the beginning saying "I'm gonna get to the bottom of this case, my friends," and at the end saying, "And so, I see no pee-ers here. Go in peace, friends."
    • Max also highlights it when addressing his fellow campers at the end of "The Butterfinger Effect", in saying "when I first got here, I didn't wanna be friends with any of you, and - well, we all know how that went."
  • A running gag in this episode is David getting run over by the camp bus, which happens 3 times. In a later episode "Camp Loser Says What?", Gwen telling David to try and hit Daniel with the bus is a callback to this episode.
  • Sheriff Sal has an appearance here, and is later seen again in "Cameron Campbell Can't Handle the Truth Serum" buying drugs off Campbell. In that episode, his arms are much skinnier and his nose is a completely different shape.
  • When referring to Ered's misshapen crutches in "Ered Gets Her Cool Back", David mentions that the sheriff confiscated their power tools. The Sheriff was shown at the end of this episode, and he even mentions he's tired of coming up to Camp Campbell, confirming there's a shared history between himself and the staff.

Errors

  • The bus's design changes after David gets hit by it the second time and returns to its previous design at the end of the episode.
  • The bus's design changes a second time when the camera panned to Max when he tells David that he hoped that he was the one who learned a lesson.
  • Ered's skateboard disappears after Mr. Campbell starts his speech.
  • Gwen's clipboard disappears after Campbell started his speech.
  • The bus changes sizes after Max tells David that he has three bastards to deal with now.
  • Space Kid's "spaceship" and the supplies from both Art and Theatre Camp are all grouped together in the middle of the field instead of their respective camps after the FBI ran over them with their car.
  • The life-sized doll of Max disappears after David takes Max back to the group.
  • David disappears after Campbell tells Neil about the "and more" part of the brochure.
  • Space Kid is seen outside of Space Camp and is still struggling to get up when in fact he fell off his "space ship" in Space Camp.
  • Ered changed positions after Neil starts complaining about Camp Campbell.
  • Dolph and Space Kid changed positions after the FBI stopped by the second time.
  • The platform from Space Camp disappears after Gwen starts to name each camp.
  • Campbell is seen wearing his old scarf from his younger years during the scene where he witnesses the FBI's arrival. The scarf then disappears afterwards.
  • Gwen disappears after Campbell's copter arrives.

Transcript

The transcript for "Escape from Camp Campbell" may be edited here.
*Eagle screeching*  

David: Can you believe it, Max? We're getting not one, not three, but two new campers today!  

Max: Yup. It's really, truly horrifying.  

David: Horrifying? What, are you afraid of making a few new friends?  

Max: I'm not here to make friends, David. I'm here because camp is where kids are sent when their parents don't want to deal with them.  

Max: Why do you think we return the favour when they hit seventy?  

David: Hang on a sec, what are you even doing out here?  

Max: Well, it's definitely not because the bus only comes in from the city to drop off and pick up campers  

Max: And so far seems to be my only reasonable method of escaping this fucking nightmare of a camp.  

Max: Definitely not that.  

David: Heeeeyy... language.  

Max: Suck a dick—  

David: All I want is for you kids to have as much fun as I did when I was a Campbell camper.  

David: Is that really too much to ask?  

Max: I refuse to believe someone as happy as you can possibly exist.  

*bus honking*  

David: *gasp* The bus is here!  

David: Hello, welcome to Camp--  

*David screaming*  

Quartermaster: Kids are here.  

Nikki: Ha!  

Nikki: *heavily inhaling*  

Nikki: Oh yeah, smell that nature! Oh that's the stuff.  

David: Well hello there, little lady. You must be Nikki.  

David: My name is David, your camp--  

*David screaming in pain as Nikki bites him*  

Neil: Um, excuse me?  

Neil: Is this Science Camp?  

Nikki: No, silly!  

Nikki: This is Adventure Camp. Ad-ven-ture!  

Nikki: My mom said so! Unless she was lying. Again.  

Nikki: Sorry about that hand by the way. Just exerting dominance, you know how it goes.  

David: Uh, and you must be Neil.  

David: Well, you two will be happy to know that Camp Campbell is both of th--  

*David screaming*  

Max: Stupid prepubescent legs!  

Quartermaster: Not today, child. Only one driving this bus is me.  

David: Ugh. Thank you, Quartermaster.  

Quartermaster: You're on your own, now.  

Quartermaster: Going on break, be back for the bus at noon.  

David: Max, you are not leaving my side for the rest of the day.  

Max: We'll see about that, camp man.  

Neil: So what's your deal?  

Max: *sigh* I'm just a kid trying to survive out here, Neil.  

David: Now let's go check out the camp, kids!  

*instrumental*  

David: The first stop on any good tour is the flagpole!  

David: I can't help but give it the official Camp Campbell salute every time I see it.  

David: Beside the flagpole is our mess hall, which--  

David: Oh! Sorry, saw the flag again.  

David: Beside the flagpole is our mess hall, which is connected to the Quartermaster Store.  

David: It's here that we'll serve meals, hold announcements, and occasionally take part in camp activities.  

David: Tell 'em just how much you love it, Max!  

Max: See, that's the sad thing. He still actually thinks that I love it.  

David: And who wouldn't?  

David: Now, let's step inside and meet my co-counselor Gwen, who's in the middle of a camp activity right now!  

David: Oho man, you're gonna love her.  

David: Gooood morning, Gwen!  

Gwen: Motherfucker!  

Space Kid: Goooo! Crank it to high, I can take the G's!  

Gwen: Nurf, you don't crank shit! Get down from there, Space Kid!  

David: Oh dear!  

Neil: What is going on here?  

Max: I'm telling you, if we leave now, I can hot wire that bus.  

Nikki: This is amazing!  

Nurf: Buzzkill.  

Space Kid: Oh-ho.  

Space Kid: I'm okay.  

David: What the gosh darn heck happened?  

Gwen: Ugh, space kids just, y'know, pushing me to my limits again.  

Space Kid: I will achieve space flight!  

David: Well, we have new campers to introduce and orientate!  

Neil: Ow.  

Gwen: Jesus, that's right.  

Gwen: Okay, let's... show them the video.  

David: Actually, I was thinking I could play them that song I've been--  

Gwen: I'm gonna stop you, right there.  

Gwen: No.  

Gwen: I'll get the laser disk.  

David: O-kay!  

David: All you campers head over to the activities field for your afternoon sessions.  

*noises of complaint*  

David: Uh-uh. Not you, Max.  

Max: Dammit.  

Neil: Will someone please talk to me about Science Camp?  

Neil: None of those kids looked too science-y.  

Nikki: What about that astronaut kid?  

Neil: Astronauts, the wannabe jocks of the scientific community? Please.  

David: Don't you worry kiddos, this video will explain everything.  

David: It was put together by our founder, Cameron Campbell, back when I was an eager young camper just like yourselves!  

David: he was an absolute legend-- oh, sorry, is an absolute legend.  

David: A savvy businessman, extraordinary philanthropist, and one heck of an adventurer if I do say so myself.  

David: Oh, it's true, Mr. Campbell doesn't often have time to come visit the camp anymore  

David: What with him travelling the globe and, I'm assuming, saving lives.  

David: But! He'll always live on in our hearts and minds.  

David: It's like the man always said: We're here to have a great summer, and campe diem!  

David: Oh, if only he were here now.  

Campbell: I'm here now.  

David: *gasp* Mr. Campbell!?  

David: Wh-- what are you doing here, sir?  

Campbell: *laughing* Well I'm certainly not hiding from any authorities if that's what you're thinking.  

David: What?  

Campbell: Haha, come on, Davey!  

Campbell: You think I'd miss the opportunity to welcome our new Campbell campers to Cameron Campbell's Camp Campbell?  

Gwen: You have for years, sir.  

Campbell: Haha, oh Grace, you slay me!  

Gwen: It's... Gwen.  

Campbell: What did I say?  

Nikki: Hey, brawny guy?  

Nikki: This is Adventure Camp, right?  

Neil: Yeah, so far every attempt to answer our questions just raises more questions.  

Max: Hey, good for you! You're starting to catch on!  

Campbell: Haha, don't worry kids! These two will take you on a tour of our great camp and answer any questions you might have.  

*Car screeching*  

Campbell: In fact, we should go on that tour right now, all of us, together, away from this spot.  

*instrumental*  

David: Here at Camp Campbell, we pride ourselves on the variety of our curriculum.  

Gwen: There's Extreme Sports Camp,  

Gwen: Magic Camp,  

Nurf: *laughing*  

Gwen: Space Camp,  

Gwen: Theatre Camp,  

Nurf: *laughing*  

Gwen: Art Camp,  

Dolph: It's a dog!  

Gwen: Other Magic Camp,  

Nerris: Lightning bolt!  

Gwen: And lots more. Lots of stuff.  

Nikki: How much more stuff?  

David: Well I'm glad you asked, because I have a little song that I can sing--  

Gwen: No.  

David: When Gwen's not around.  

Gwen: By the way, Mr. Campbell, now that you're here maybe we can discuss just exactly how we're meant to operate at this scale—  

Campbell: Hey, is that kid trying to escape?  

Max: *panting*  

*thud*  

Max: If I can just get to that bus before it heads back!  

Max: Ah!  

David: Looks like knitting camp wasn't as stupid as someone said, huh Max?  

Max: You are the bane of my existence.  

David: All right now, let's go.  

Neil: Excuse me, what the hell is this?  

David: Ah! I see you found it.  

David: That, my friend, is science camp!  

Neil: But but but-- this isn't what I signed up for!  

Neil: I just wanted Science Camp, not Science Camp and more! I don't want more!  

Campbell: Well that's why you read the fine print, sport!  

Campbell: See, right there. And more.  

Campbell: Now you can't sue us!  

Nikki: So, what? It's just some sort of Camp Camp?  

Campbell: Well I mean, I wouldn't exactly call it out like that. But yes.  

Neil: This is bullshit!  

Max: Woah, check out the balls on new kid.  

Nikki: Where?  

Neil: I don't know what kind of operation you think you're running, but I won't stand for it!  

Neil: I'm a man of science!  

Neil: You think you can rummage together some outdated equipment and call it a laboratory!?  

Gwen: Look, kid, I know it's not--  

Campbell: Stand down, Gretchen.  

Campbell: I'll speak to the children.  

Campbell: Kids, I'm going to be blunt and honest with you.  

Campbell: When I opened Camp Campbell all those years ago, I had one goal and one goal only.  

Campbell: To create the most popular and successful summer camp in the world!  

Campbell: But times have changed.  

Campbell: Things like the internet, video games, and the Affordable Care Act are ruining this great country of ours,  

Campbell: And the children of today just aren't interested in a traditional summer camp.  

Campbell: But America isn't a traditional country!  

Campbell: So why settle for anything less!  

Campbell: You've got two acceptable counselors, one hell of a Quartermaster, and endless possibilities here at Camp Campbell.  

Campbell: And by God, as long as I'm here--  

*tires screeching*  
*gunshots*  

Campbell: Code black, code black!  

Campbell: Well, look at the time. Gotta go!  

David: Sir! Where are you going?  

Campbell: The nearest international waters, Davey. Have a great summer, kids!  

Campbell: *fading away* And campe diem!  

*gunshots*  
*Tires screeching*  

Nikki: He seems nice.  

Gwen: Oh God it's coming back, the crippling anxiety and regret.  

David: Uh, Gwen!?  

Quartermaster: Well, time to be getting that there bus back to that there city.  

Max: Neil, that bus is our only chance out of here.  

Max: Do you want to spend the rest of your summer at this godforsaken place or do you want to enjoy the sweet taste of freedom?  

Gwen: Why did I get a liberal arts degree?  

Neil: Let's get the fuck out of here.  

Nikki: Makin' a break for it?  

Nikki: I can make a distraction for you.  

Max: Why would you help us?  

Nikki: I'm an agent of chaos.  

Nikki: Hey David!  

David: Yes Nikki!  

Nikki: How about you pick up our spirits with that camp song you won't shut up about?  

David: Well that's a great idea!  

Gwen: Oh Jesus Christ no.  

David: ♪ Ooooohhh ♪  

David: ♪ There's a place I know that's tucked away, a place where you and I can stay, ♪  

David: ♪ Where we can go to laugh and play and have adventures every day! ♪  

David: ♪ I know it sounds hard to believe but guys and gals it's true, Camp Campbell is the place for me and-- ♪  

Gwen: The kids are gone.  

*thud*  
*panting*  

Quartermaster: No running.  

(It sucks!) I'm sorry I'm sorry (It always sucks!) I'm--  

Quartermaster: ... No running.  

*Kids panting*  

Max: There it is!  

Neil: They're right behind us!  

David: Max, get back here! You are being a bad influence on our new campers!  

Max: Never!  

Nikki: Max, hurry!  

*dramatic music*  

Nikki: Heee-ya!  

David: Oh!  

Gwen: Oof!  

Nikki and Max: *laughing*  

Max: Remember this face, David, cause you'll never see it again!  

*tires screeching*  

Max: *laughing*  

Sheriff: I'm getting real tired of having to come up here, David.  

David: I know, Sal.  

Max: We were so close!  

Neil: Well, I mean in hindsight none of us really know how to drive.  

Gwen: Yeah, honestly Max, how far did you expect to make it?  

Nikki: Imma be real, I just always wanted to drive a bus.  

David: Well kids, I hope we all learned something today.  

Max: Oh, no. I hope YOU learned, David.  

Max: I hope you learned that before today, you only had one little bastard to deal with.  

Max: But now you've got three.  

Max: Let's go, guys. I'll take you to our tent.  

Nikki: Woohoo!  

Nikki: This is gonna be awesome!  

Gwen: This is gonna be awful.  

David: Oh, come on Gwen! Look at the bright side!  

David: Max made not one, not three, but two new friends today!  

David: *screams in Terror and Pain*  

Gallery

Main article: Escape from Camp Campbell/Gallery
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